Sunday, February 5, 2012

What makes me a good Mom!

I haven't written in a few days ... OK, maybe it has been over a week. Whoops! I have been completely checked out. Not sure what was going on. Pure exhaustion and pain. And honestly, very little brain function ... thus, no blog post. But, I am back, and full of wisdom and thoughts. OH BOY, I hope you are ready!

Even though I haven't been writing, I have been reading. Reading up on lots of blogs. I really enjoy reading what others think and feel about being a mother, or a wife, or a crafter. 9 times out of 10 I really get something out of what I read. Insight on what I could do better, or even sometimes a pat on the back for something I feel I am doing right!

Then, there is that 1 time out of 10 that I stumble upon a blog posting that really bothers me. Something that really doesn't help anyone better themselves or really shed a positive light on life. All the blog post does is glorify the writer. Now, I completely understand where blogging can kind of be a "look at me" type of land. Just like Facebook, Twitter and Myspace (does anyone still use this?) ... it is a great way to show our accomplishments, praise our loved ones and keep in touch. I use these for all of the above ... and even to brag on how I have the best husband in the world, but only of course, because I do in fact, have the best!! (hope you are reading this Mike). But, some go beyond.

I have noticed this in life lately also. A few different groups of Moms that I have been with seem to get like this too. Conversations almost turn in to a competition between Moms and/or Wives, especially those that stay at home. It turns into a "Well MY husband does this, or MY kid can read and he is only 2 or MY house is SO big or MY car is SO great!" If your husband has a great job, I am the first to congratulate you! If your son/daughter can read by 2, that is incredibly impressive! If you have a huge house or big expensive car, good for you! That is awesome! But does that make you a better mom or wife? I can understand these things coming up in conversation, but does it need to be the introduction or basis to discussion? I don't believe so!

Now, don't get me wrong. I am not coming at this from a place of jealousy. Trust me. My husband has a great job that allows me to stay home with our three daughters. Our oldest was easily reading by the age of 3 and memorizing books cover to cover before that. (our youngest will be lucky to read by 2nd grade -- just joking .. I hope!) We have a decent size house, well at least what I consider decent (especially when I am cleaning it ALL THE TIME). 2,000 sq ft upstairs and a full 2,000 sq ft downstairs (unfinished at the moment but the upstairs is plenty large for our family of 5). I drive a nice SUV, our kids go to great schools and we can afford to dress them in nice clothes(maybe a size or two small) and feed them at LEAST once a day! (again, just kidding.)

I guess the point I am trying to make here is that people are different and want different things. I don't understand how hanging out with a bunch of Moms turns into a competition (maybe it is the catty girl trapped inside of us). It really shouldn't! Tonight, I had a great time hanging out with a group of women, most of which were Moms. They were all wives of some of the men my husband works with and they all have the opportunity to stay at home. We had a great time giving advice of "this helped me when I potty-trained mine" type of advice, not "well, mine was potty-trained by 6 months". (darn it Kynslee, you are 7 months and still in those diapers?!?!)

The only thing in my list of what I have that makes me a better mom to MY children is that my husband has a great job that allows me to stay home with them. And, I say a better Mom to MY children because that doesn't work for every family. Some Moms do more for their family by having a job OUTSIDE of the home. I have said it in many of my previous posts that God put me on this great earth to be a wife and a mother. It doesn't make me any better or worse than the next Mom/Wife ... just different. It works for my family. And, on top of all that, I am NOT in high school anymore. The bragging and boasting on what I have and you don't seems like high school garbage to me. Maybe even worse, Jr. High. I am certainly beyond that. And I am trying to instill much better view points in my child. What you have or don't have does NOT make you a better person. It is who you are on the inside. It is how you make others feel when you are around ... that is what makes people like you.

I think as women and mothers and wives, we need to come together as a support group!Our husbands, as much as they do for us, just don't understand how a woman feels on some things.  I guess that is what I envisioned a "moms group" to be! I am a part of our local MOPS group and I have just that with them. The moms are so inspirational and helpful. No one brags about what they have or what they can afford. It is just a group of women, getting together to support one another through the harder parts of motherhood. And there to be joyous together in times of happiness! My Bible Study group is this way as well. I don't feel like I am any better or worse of a mother than them when I am around them. We can talk about things that really matter!

Maybe these groups are different because the first and foremost reason we are together is God. We pray for each other and put Him first in our meetings. Maybe I am wrong, but that is what I am noticing.

Anyway, so enough of my ranting for now. I know most of my other postings were more positive and upbeat but this blog is for me to write about my feelings and my views and my opinions. And, this is one that has been weighing heavily on my heart and my brain. So, now I got it off my chest and I can breath again!!

Does anyone else notice this in their playgroups? Am I the only one? Does it feel like a big competition or am I reading to far into these conversations? Let me know your thoughts!!

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