Tuesday, January 10, 2012

8 Things I have learned ...

Today marks 8 years since Mike and I got married. We had only dated 4 months before he proposed and we were actually married 2 days after our 6 month dating anniversary (only 8 short months after we met)! We were only 21 when we got married and still had  have so much growing up to do. But, we have grown a lot in the last 8 years and I have learned so much from him. Here are my top 8 things he has taught me along the way.


#1. He and the kids are my family now! - Only 2 years after we got married, we had already bought our first house and lost our jobs and on the brink of foreclosing on our house. So, Mike joined the USAF and we moved to Colorado. I had never lived far from my family (parents, sisters, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends) and had a hard time adjusting. But, even 1000 miles from home, he was there for me. And I survived.


#2. You don't have to give someone THINGS to let them know you love them! - A few years ago the Air National Guard sent us to a Marriage Retreat. It was there that I learned our "love languages". His is Words of Affirmation. Mine: gifts! (as if that weren't a surprise). It has only occurred to me recently that he shows his love for me in different ways. He has been doing them all along, but I just ignored them. He vacuums the house ... he knows I hate it. He puts the lid down ... honest ... I have never had to ask him! Mostly - he listens. I never think he does. But he can remember the weirdest stuff that I tell him. and he gives me words of affirmation. Always telling me he loves me. Words really do mean a lot. I just needed to believe them.


#3. Sometimes you can't appreciate what someone does, until you do it yourself. - For the first few years of our marriage, he never understood my desire to stay home with the children. He never understood why I would choose that over earning MONEY! He would hate it when I complained about work and thought I just wanted to stay home and lay around and sleep, watch tv and craft. He wasn't completely wrong, I do love doing all of those things - more than my fair share of them, too. But that isn't what staying home is about! It wasn't until last year when I was pregnant with our third daughter Little K and I decided to go back to work. 5 months pregnant, starting a new job (which would lead to working from home ... so there was smart thinking behind my adventure) and having 2 kids already ... he knew he was going to have to help. During the weeks of training 3:30-11pm he got a real taste of just an evening of having 2 little people completely dependent on you. They were 8 and 4 so not little babies/toddlers .. but there was still dinners to make, picking up from school/bus, homework, baths, bedtime routine, grocery shopping, etc. Just from the little taste of night time craziness was enough for him to fully support my staying at home and really seeing that in order to run a successful home ... as much as we enjoy it ... sitting on the couch all day and eating bon-bons (whatever those are) is just not an option.


#4. Family is not always made up of blood relatives! - From friends I had before I met Mike and his family ... I knew first hand the truth behind this statement. But meeting Mike and his parents ... proved this statement 100 times over. Before Mike and I met I had our daughter Big K. She was 9 months old when I met Mike and he treated her like she was his from the first day. When I went to meet his family for the first time, they welcomed myself and her with the widest open arms you can imagine. They love her from the bottom of their hearts and wouldn't consider her any less a grandchild than one born from their very own children. It is because of this that I sometimes forget that he wasn't there when she was born ... but he and his family have far more than made up for the time missed!


#5. Video games ARE NOT a hobby. That's right. I said it. Anyone who knows me, knows that my teeth were fully gritting and probably whittling down to the enamel as I write this phrase, as I despise his love of video games. I am giving him this one by definition only .. straight from dictionary.com ... Hobby: noun; meaning: an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation. Reluctantly, by definiton, I have to give this to him. As much as I do not understand the desire, it does relax him and makes him happy. He has never neglected the family because of the games and he really works hard at balancing game-time and family-time. He works 4 12's in a row each week and goes to school full time in the evenings so sometimes this is hard. I can't complain too much. He isn't at the bars or going out with the guys all the time ... leaving me at home alone. He doesn't drink or smoke. He drops the controller and helps or plays with the kids when we want him to. So, in the long run ... not really THAT big of a deal. Unless I want it to be for arguments sake ... and in that case, be ready for it.


#6. Guys need affection, too. I always thought that guys hold hands and snuggle and put their arm around you to make you feel good. And they are right. It does. It makes you feel secure in your relationship. It makes you feel protected and comforted. But, I never thought I needed to be the one to do those things back. I am not one to show affection unless it is shown to me first. Why wouldn't he want a random back rub for no reason? Why shouldn't I just give him a hug for no reason? Who wouldn't want to feel that affection. 


#7. Sometimes Boys, just need to be Boys! - My poor husband. Stuck in a house of pink. A wife who loves any sort of craft, 3 daughters and a neutered dog. The guy has no chance. The girls love princess stuff, dress-up, barbies, babies, pink legos, nail polish, make-up, hair things. If it's girly, they love it. So, sometimes we just have to let him be a man. Give him the OK to go to a ballgame without us. Give him the OK to go for a guys weekend  business trip ... even if the trip to Philly was only planned around the fact that the St. Louis Cardinals were playing out there 3 of the 5 days they were out there for a training session. He needs his guy time .. we don't want his man-card to be stripped from being surrounded by pink! 


#8. For Better or For Worse really can mean For Better or For Worse! - We have all heard these words spoken at a marriage ceremony. And, if we have said them, we probably meant them. But, do you ever really sit and think of what for better or for worse can really turn out to be? Mike didn't have to just sit and think about it he has seen me through it. The good and the bad. He has been there for 2 of 3 c-sections, the death of my best friend, the death of my grandfather, how I felt when a Dr. was preparing us for the idea we miscarried, and when I lost my marbles after the birth of our daughter J. Nothing is worse than losing a loved one or how you feel after surgery. Mike has held me up when I can't stand, held me when I cried and talked me through stress and anxiety. He has laughed with me until we have tears rolling down our faces and fought through arguments with me that lasted til 4 in the morning (when he has to leave for work). 




It is all of these reasons listed above that he really is my best friend. He is my partner in every sense of the word. I saw this on Pinterest and just love it! So true. 



Anyway, hope you all enjoyed these lessons I have learned. Who knows WHAT he will teach me over the next 8 years! Here's to finding out :)

34 comments:

  1. THANKS YOU FOR STOPPING BY AND FOLLOWING MY BLOG. I AM NOW FOLLOWING YOU. I LOVE THE LITTLE NOTE AT THE END IT SO TRUE WE ARE UNDERPAY...LOL

    HTTP://WWW.MODERNMOTHERSCLUB.COM

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  2. isn't it true! I love that sticky not. Makes me laugh!

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  3. Happy Anniversary! I hope you had a great day together. I love this post.

    Katie - Saving and Sharing It
    www.savingandsharingit.blogspot.com

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  4. I can somewhat relate to #8..Aren't we lucky gals? :)
    Your girls are beautiful! Thanks for dropping by and becoming a super follower (blog & twitter). www.loveblisslife.com

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    1. Thank you for your sweet comment about my girls. We seem to think so too! And, I am extremely lucky ... and blessed :) Thanks for stopping in.

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  5. This is such a great post!! Very sweet.

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    1. thank you for stopping by! I am following your blog now too. What amazing photographs and memories!

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  6. Thank you all so much for your comments! We had a great day together. His 4 days in a row are usually Wed-Sat so Sun-Tues are our "weekends" .. and I love when a holiday/birthday or anniversary lands on one of his off days. Thanks again for following :)

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  7. Congratulations!!! I swear I tried reading it all...you two have definitely been through a lot! Following you back from Letting You Grow - http://lettingyougrow.blogspot.com
    Thanks for stopping by...looking forward to reading more on your blog!

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    1. haha - thanks for hanging in there! thanks for stopping in and saying hi!

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  8. Enjoyed the blog! New follower for MBC.

    http://thebrokenmommy.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thank you for stopping by!! Glad you enjoyed it!

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  9. Hi there - thank you so much for visiting my blog and becoming a follower - Im a follower right back! I love this post - congratulations on 8 years. Nat
    http://northshoredays.blogspot.com/

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    1. Thanks for commenting and for visiting my blog! Glad you enjoyed it!

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  10. Happy Anniversary! You have a lot of wisdom a lot of us can only hope to have in a lifetime. I was talking to a friend today about picking our battles. Her hubby likes to watch sports but he doesn't drink or go to the bars. My hubby is messy but he also doesn't have any vices and is amazing with the kids. Yep we have to pick our battles, show love and know how our partner shows love so we appreciate it. Thanks for the reminder of the important things! I'm gonna go snuggle with my hubby now. : )

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    1. Thank you so much for your sweet comment. Hope you enjoyed your snuggles :)

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  11. Brett is teaching me #2! Haha I tend to shower people with gifts...which is really hard when you're a full time student and your work doesn't give you hours!!! Hahaha. I'm getting better at realizing that you don't HAVE to give someone gifts to show you care! It must be in our genes somewhere ;)

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    1. Yeah - it really is a bad habbit to break! I definitely do it with the girls as well. Stop it while you can! hahaha. gifts aren't a bad thing. but it does get costly ;)

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  12. Hello! Following you from MBC! Nice pink for your blog! Follow mine at http://ahappymum.blogspot.com

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    1. Thanks for the comment on the pink. I was hoping it wasn't hurting any eyes :) I am now following you!

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  13. Hi! Thanks for visiting my blog! Looking forward to following you as well.

    Ashley
    www.modernmommymagic.blogspot.com

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  14. Hi! Following you back from happydreamdesigns.blogspot.com.

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  15. You are blessed to have a wonderful man. Thanks for linking up in Exposure 99% weekday hop, following back and i look forward being part of your blog.

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    1. I am extremely blessed. He is awesome beyond words. Thank you for following!

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  16. I'll never understand why people think us stay-at-home moms are sitting around on our butts eating bon-bons and watching soap operas all day long! Being a stay-at-home mom is the hardest job there is!! It seems like your hubby has some appreciate for that now, though. :-)

    Thanks for the follow! I'm following you back through GFC. I send you a follow request on Twitter because it said that your tweets were protected and I had to get your permission to follow.

    Have a great week!

    Smiles, Jenn@Misadventures in Motherhood

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    1. Yeah, I don't get the bon-bons thing. Really. Does the house just magically fall in order? Food just magically appears on the table? Maybe for Cinderella - but hey, she had a fairy godmother!

      Sorry about the Twitter thing. I am new to that. I changed my settings now. Had no idea it was making people do that!

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  17. Congratulations! I awarded you the Versatile blog award! Check it out at http://savingandsharingit.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-was-so-surprised-received-versatile.html.

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    1. Thank you so much for the Versatile award! How awesome! And thanks for visiting.

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    2. and - I am also following you now! can't wait to see your tricks to saving :)

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  18. Happy Anniversary!!!! I am following back from your visit to me (http://wts2011.blogspot.com) I really look forward to following your journey as well! :)
    Jo

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    1. Thank you for visiting! Hope you enjoy my blogs!

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